Why Share So Much With Strangers?

I feel so misunderstood. I don’t say that because I want anyone to feel bad for me or because I am looking for attention. I actually hate any attention at all. I say that because I know I’m not alone. I also know that feeling misunderstood can also feel pretty lonely. I find it so interesting how many people are going through the same thing feel lonely when really, we aren’t alone at all.

Creating a place on social media the showcases perfection creates unrealistic expectations. Expectations that make people feel as if they’re falling short when they’re really not. *Insert mom guilt* When you create a space that shares your real life, you create a community. The good and bad. The messy. The plans gone array. Smiles and struggle. A community that celebrates your victories and bands together to support you when you need it.

I love having my blog and my page as an outlet. It brings out a creative side for me and also is so therapeutic. There are so many thing that I write and share that I would never share in my real life. I would never speak out loud. Never ever think about sharing my deep rooted struggles with anxiety. I’m sure some people don’t understand why I choose to talk to complete strangers and share my most intimate secrets. To be honest I am kind of surprised I do too. When I think of the accounts I follow of all the strong women that speak out and speak up against the struggles of being a mom and dealing with mental health I classify them as brave; something I don’t look at myself and see.

I remember thinking that I was taking a huge risk in being open. What if people hate it? What if people talk about me behind my back? I don’t think that I think about these things at all anymore. That all changed when I started to think “What if I don’t let myself care? What happens if I continue to stay silent?” Every time I post or share I focus on how much better I feel. Every time I receive a message or a comment from other women and moms my heart swells. Knowing that how I feel and what I’m saying is resonating with others means that putting myself out there was the right decision. I’m not sharing with strangers at all. I’m sharing with people just like me who can relate.

It can be so scary to open up to the people you know and especially people you don’t. I think that so many people suffer in silence from their anxiety that it only expands the feelings of loneliness that they are feeling, often times making their anxiety worse. When my anxiety was far out of my own control, I isolated myself out of fear. I also started deal with depression that was extremely hard to come out of. By having honest conversations around mental health you create less of a stigma. Less space for people to be judged. More connection between people who would otherwise see themselves as suffering alone and in silence.

Often times after posting, I have so many conversations with people about how something that was said really struck them and made what they were feeling recently easier to explain. Maybe someone read a post and thought back to a recent conversation we had and it opened their eyes to better understand the place I was coming from. I think putting pen to paper or in this case writing out my thoughts word by word, line by line offers the best therapy “work” and release I have yet to find. I feel lucky. I feel thankful. I feel understood from behind my keyboard.

My anxiety is often so crippling I can go all day without speaking except to my son. Days can go by without talking to a single soul outside of my home. Weeks can go by without talking to friends. How comforting it is to be able to write without speaking. To let out how I’m feeling. What a relief to no longer feel so alone.

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